Offensive content... please read...

I was told to take down a blog today because I told the truth about a situation with our business and it offended some people.

This is going to offend even more people.

If you don't want to read my blog... then don't read it... if you are not here because you care, then stop reading NOW... if you are here to read the goings on of the life of a Mother who has lost her child only to use her words of grief against her and her family... then you need to reevaluate your lot in life.

The whole purpose of this blog is so that I can vent. It is not meant to hurt people, to harm people or to offend anyone. You read this because you want to. If you read something that you do not agree with or that you do not like, then it would behoove you to talk to me about it personally before spreading rumors about the things that are the TRUTH in my blog around town.

You know who you are, I know who you are, and I think that you are the lowest of the low....

I do this because I hate therapy, it is expensive and I have no insurance. I would NEVER wish this pain and grief on another person, no matter how much I disliked them. I would NEVER run and tattle about something they were obviously upset about. I would try to think about their life and how it was affecting them... take some time to walk in my shoes.

Are you married? I am.
Do you have a business to run? I do.
Do you have stepkids? I do.
Does your stepson have cancer? Mine does.
Does your partner's ex pay child support and insurance? Mine doesn't.
Did your baby die? MINE DID.
Are you sad about it? I am.
Do you still have to work? I do.
Are there rules and regulations keeping you from working?  There are for me.
Are you pissed because you aren't getting paid this week? I am.
Are you hurt because you should have had your baby this week? I am.
Do I get into your business? NO I DON'T

So when I am upset because we can't get people to cooperate with us to get a business to resume its normal operations and I VENT about it because we are normal people and have bills to pay... employees to pay... and kids to take care of... maybe you should cut me some freaking slack.

Do you want to pay my bills this week or cut the hours for my employees?

Do you want to tell my kids that we can't go out to eat because we just really can't afford it this week?

If I can't tell the truth on here then where can I tell the truth? If you don't like it then don't read this blog. It is unfortunate that I can't SEE who reads my blog. I get anywhere from 200 to 500 hits per blog.. so plenty of people read it. Most people take what they want from it but understand that this is my way of getting through the pain.. the sadness.. the things that really piss me off.

How can I find joy again when there are constantly people out there just being complete A-holes?

When you lose your baby you really find out who your friends are... you realize what is important. You realize that material things don't matter so much. All you want to do is genuinely smile again, or laugh from the belly... or just feel the sunshine on your head.

I have found that a lot of the things that I have said that are negative ring true. I hate that. I hate that I can't just be positive and glass half full again. I used to have faith in people and really give everyone the benefit of the doubt... now.. I just have no faith except in the people who have shown it.

Today when I arrived at work there was a flower pot sitting on the porch. It was pink. It was full of butterfly cut outs. On those cut outs were messages from people who care. People who remembered that today was Zoe Jane's due date. People who love us. They surrounded me with butterflies. They surrounded me with love... that is what got me through this completely horrible day. The people who truly love and care for us took the time to let us know...

As for the person who read my blog and was so offended because I told the truth about being upset because we couldn't operate under a normal capacity today... you can kiss it. As we say in the South to people that we would rather cuss out.... "Bless your heart".