The Man Who Shares My Bed

Today was so busy. I have been working in the kitchen with Bryan this week. We work really well together and can send out food like crazy! I love him so much and I am blessed to have such a talented husband. I have talked him into a new menu and some new items for Specials and people have been happy so far. There are so many aspects of my husband that people don't know. When we met it was truly what people call love at first sight and I always thought that was a bunch of baloney. We just met at random and when he came in the next day to see me I was really surprised. After the day that we met there wasn't a day that I have been without him.

Bryan is one of those guys that you are automatically intimidated by because of his stature and the always what I call "mean" expression on his face. Once you say something to him he lightens up and loves to joke with people. I know that some people probably wonder how we get along so well when he is so serious and I am always really friendly and talkative. We balance each other out. He thinks all the time and I do all the time. Then he tells me what he is thinking and we "do" those things together. I can always tell when he is about to come up with some new venture because of the way his face looks.

It's amazing the things that we do together and it works out so well. We redesign the store, stage the window, work on a wedding, cook, work on a project. I can come up with something in my head and he can create it. He can come up with something and I can create it. We take the words out of each others mouths all the time. We finish the others sentences. Our birthdays are a week apart.

He always tells me that I am beautiful. He calls me Baby. He hugs and kisses on me in the morning before he gets out of bed. He buys me a lot of chocolate and I don't even really like chocolate, but he does and he always ends up eating it. He has terrible handwriting. He can paint a mural on the wall or paint a scene on the window. He can sing but he has never sang a song for me. He loves Texas country music and good beer. He likes to grill meat. (And it is always really good) He likes my cooking. He always reaches for my hand when we are out walking anywhere. He is jealous of every single ex boyfriend that I ever had whether he knows them or not.

I had hoped that Zoe would be able to sing. And paint or draw. I don't think that she would have escaped those talents because we are both artists. I have always wanted to sing in front of people but I am scared to. I know she would have been able to.

The past several nights I haven't been able to sleep so I stay up as late as possible because I know the nightmares are coming. I know that I will wake up in a sweat and not know where I am for a few seconds. Sometimes I think that the events of the last couple of weeks are a dream and things are OK, she is still inside me growing. Then I realize in my sleep deprived state that it wasn't a dream and she is really gone.

Today Bryan said that he knew exactly how I felt. He said it is like when you come back from Iraq and you wake up from a crazy dream and you are confused. When you hear a loud sound and you get scared. We were just sitting at the bar talking about tomorrow and he told me that. He KNOWS how I feel.

My husband is a Godly man and that is important. His relationship with God has been one of the things that reminds me that we are good together. Sometimes I have to remind him that God knows best in every situation, and this one is no exception. I prayed for my sweet husband and God sent him to me and I truly believe that. On our first date when our food came he reached across the table and said grace. That is really when I knew.

We are not a perfect couple. We argue and sometimes I want to kick him in the face...but then I want to hug him and tell him that I can't live without him because I know that I need him. I can't figure out who needed the other most but I am really blessed to have him in my life.